Summer Movies, Had Me a Blast...

Greetings Zayniacs!  I know it's been a long time, some would say too long, others, probably not long enough.  By request, this post will be about movies.  I know, what the heck do I think I'm doing not writing a post about all of the TV, good and bad, of this winter/spring season?  Well fear not, my year end rundown series will be starting very soon.  Several finales have aired and a couple have been officially removed from my DVR.  However, we will get to that all in good time, probably starting early next week.

In the meantime, I will apparently be spending a majority of my summer indoors...at the theater...in a big comfy reclining seat.  In anticipation of Iron Man 3 this Friday, I'll be doing a quick rundown of all the big movies this summer and a few tidbits about them.

May 3
Iron Man 3: This movie is going to be epic, there's no doubt about it.  Coming off of Avengers, I can't imagine a better followup than the biggest, baddest, most armor-y-est (?) installment of this franchise yet.  Go see it.  The reviews are awesome, not that those should matter to you in the first place.

May 10
The Great Gatsby:  If you have girl parts, I'm sure you're stoked for this movie.  I, am not.

May 16
Star Trek: Into Darkness: I've had to cut myself off from trailer and commercials because marketing departments nowadays are dicks.  I don't have any plot details to tease you with.  Suffice to say, if you liked the first one, this should be a no-brainer for you.

May 23
The Hangover Part 3: I really liked the first one, the second one was okay.  I don't know if I'll see this in theaters but I'll definitely see it at some point just to see how crazy they make a third one.

May 24
Epic: This is a new animated movie from the Ice Age people.  It's about a woman who gets shrunk down in a forest where apparently a bunch of things live.  It basically sounds like updated Ferngully with more action.  I'll probably rent it from Netflix, just to see how much they ripped off. 

Fast and Furious 6:   Alright, I'm mildly ashamed to admit it, but I kind of like these movies.  They're ridiculous, the acting is barely par level, and their plots make little to no sense, but damn it if they aren't really fun.  This movie will be resurrecting a character whose death was a major plot point of 4 so I'm also curious what explanation they'll be pulling out of their butts for that.



May 31
The East:  This is about a group that goes after corporations that have wronged the world and the FBI agent that tries to stop them.  The trailer looks kind of interesting and the cast is solid with the likes of Ellen Page and Alexander Skarsgard.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlbM1voHKYw

After Earth: This is the movie with Will Smith and his son playing father and son on a post apocalyptic Earth.  It's by M. Night Shamalamadingdong so that instantly makes me not want to see it, then I watched the trailer...and it's even worse than I thought.  Their accents change by the minute and overall it just looks like a movie with things that have been done better before.  I will definitely be passing on this one, regardless of reviews.

Now You See Me:  Ocean's 11 meets The Prestige.  This movie looks fantastic.  It's a group of magicians who use their acts as covers to pull off huge heists.  The cast is huge and awesome, including Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Isla Fisher, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Dave Franco.  I hope the review are good because I will be severely disappointed if something with this much potential does not deliver.  I'll be seeing this in theaters.

June 7
Much Ado About Nothing: This black and white update of the Shakespeare classic was shot by Joss Whedon, at his house, with a bunch of his friends, over the course of several days, right after he finished filming The Avengers....for fun.  This is how he wound down from making one of the most successful movies of all time.  Whedon alum abound in this remake whose trailer looks extremely interesting.  The movie was very well received at SXSW and I look forward to seeing it finally.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAMsDP_DMHE

The Internship: I had honestly never heard of this movie until yesterday but it looks pretty great.  Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are back together in a comedy about two non-tech savvy guys trying to make it as interns at Google. I find it hard to believe that you could go wrong with these two together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdnoqCViqUo

June 14 (aka Zayne's Day at the Movies)
I've decided I'm just going to take the day off that Friday and just go marathon all 3 of the movies coming out on that day.  I'll be starting with...
Man of Steel: This movie looks beyond awesome.  I was cautious when it was announced, curious after the first teaser, intrigued after the first full trailer and then by the time the trailer from a couple weeks ago rolled around, I'm now foaming at the mouth in anticipation for this movie.  It looks incredible.  The effects, the emotions, the acting, everything is working for me on so many levels.  I'm really not kidding about taking the day off for this movie.

You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive for.  They will race behind you.  They will stumble.  They will fall, but in time, they will join you in the sun.  In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.

If you don't have chills at 1:55 in this trailer, something is wrong with you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6DJcgm3wNY

This is the End:  7 words say it all: Hermione just stole all of our shit. This movie looks hilarious.  All of the actors in it are playing themselves.  Basically the end of the world happens and this group of guys are trying to survive.  I'm attaching a trailer but it's the Red Band so the language is very NSFW.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kliQSsD_npo

The Bling Ring: This movie, based on a true story, is an attempt by Emma Watson to really break away from Hermione.  The movie doesn't look bad.  It's about several teenagers who went around robbing different celebrities' houses. 

June 20
Monsters University: A prequel to Monsters Inc. that I was quite skeptical about until I've now seen the trailers and think it looks great.  I know some people would prefer a sequel, but this still looks good.

June 21
World War Z: Brad Pitt, pandemics, zombies (basically).  They seem to keep wanting to generate buzz for this movie but I'm having a really hard time getting excited about it.  Maybe something will spark my interest by release time but I'm not optimistic.

June 28
The Heat: I never thought I could see a Sandra Bullock movie that had a Red Band trailer but this movie with her and Melissa McCarthy pulls it off.  It looks a little generic but also hilarious.  There's a good chance I'll be seeing this in theaters.  Bullock plays an uptight FBI agent while McCarthy plays an off the rails beat cop and they end up working the same case and hijinx ensue.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5m7Ml76zoA

White House Down: First of all, didn't this movie come out a couple of months ago, only being called Olympus Has Fallen?  Did it not do well enough so they're releasing it under a different name to try and recoup their losses?  Also, Channing Tatum as a Secret Service Officer?  Nice try, but no.  Just no.

Despicable Me 2: The first one was...okay.  It had more heart than I was expecting but the funny was not there.  I'll be waiting for a movie channel release on this one.

July 3
The Lone Ranger:  Honestly, this does not look good and Johnny Depp's Tonto seems borderline offensive.  Pass.

July 5
The Way Way Back: Had not heard about this movie until yesterday but it looks kind of amazing.  A kid with a douchey stepdad moves to a new town and attempts to find his place in the world.  A really solid cast including Steve Carrell, Allison Janey, Sam Rockwell, and many more puts this movie on my watch list.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiH5wmuexZY&feature=player_embedded


July 12
Pacific Rim: I knew very little about this movie outside of the basic concept of Giant Robots vs. Giant Monsters.  However, the most recent trailers make it seem kind of amazing.  Watch List.

July 19
Red 2: I really enjoyed the first one and I think this second one looks just as solid.  I'll be checking it out.

R.I.P.D.:  I had no clue what this was but it's apparently based on a comic book about law enforcement for the dead.  The Rest in Peace Department tracks down lose souls and brings them in.  It stars Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds and looks kind of great.  I'm certainly intrigued.

July 26
The Wolverine: Hairy guy with claws and a temper goes to Japan.  Snore, next, moving on...
P.S. I hate Wolverine, he sucks.  Seriously though, you couldn't pay me to go see this movie.  He's awful.  The worst.  Iceman rules all.  Suck on an Omega Level mutant you giant furry tool.

Wha...Where am I?  I think I blacked out with nerd rage there for a second.  Anyway, moving on....

July 31
The Smurfs 2:  Haven't seen the first one, don't plan on seeing the second.  Moving on.

We're going to have to pick up with August at a later date.  My fingers hurt.  Highlights include Percy Jackson 2, Kick-Ass 2, The To-Do List, and The Mortal Instruments.

Hope you all enjoyed your Summer Movie Breakdown Part 1.  Catch you on the flip side.